A true friend = a mensch, therapist, buddy
- A mensch — someone who shows up for you unconditionally +
- A therapist — someone who sees you deeply, without judgement +
- A companion — someone with whom you have fun, do common interests (a.k.a. a buddy, a colleague, a collaborator) +
- Someone with whom you have shared history. This history, developed over years of living life and making memories, adds meaning to the friendship, allows you to “pick up where you left off” if you haven’t seen each other for a while.
To have a friend, be a friend. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
True success = joy, growth, values
- Brings you joy (this is needed for something to be sustainable)
- Helps you grow, pushes your comfort zone
- Is aligned with your values: Contributes to / inspires others in some way, is aligned with the person you want to be long-term. It’s something you’re proud of doing.
- Has blinders regarding outcome. These blinders help overcome the inner critic who says things like: “You are a failure because you don’t have what person X has, and it’s too late to even try,” or “What you’re doing is worthless because it isn’t unique, and it’s not changing the world.” Focus on hitting the three things above every day, and keep your blinders up. Don’t compare yourself to your neighbors (real or imagined).
An example: I’m going to go for a run this morning with the dog. This pushes me out of my comfort zone, contributes to others (the dog!), and is aligned with who I want to be long-term (healthy, physically active).
I could get down on myself if I compare myself to more accomplished athletes. My inner critic could say: “You’re not an ultra-marathoner or a surfer.”
Yet this perspective is not helpful. So, I keep my blinders up. I focus on executing today, lacing up my sneakers, and getting out there.
Any success takes one in a row. Do one thing well, then another. Once, then once more. Over and over until the end, then it’s one in a row again.” – Matthew McConaughey
Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and look on all beings with eyes of compassion. — Thich Nhat Hanh
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