The green of the teacup, smiling

I awake
Residue of yesterday's shame
Lingers in the folds of my brain

Everything seemed wrong yesterday
The way I drove
The T-shirt I wore
The words I said
The thoughts in my mind
My lack of knowledge 
My lack of skills
My inability to listen

Everything I put into the world
Seemed ugly and awkward and harmful
I seemed wrong, as a unit
I might as well just go
And hide in a closet
Away from it all

This morning, smiles seem phony
Plastic, put on
Glitter on shit

This morning, I sit
Before me
Eggs, toasted bread, arugula, pepper, pesto
Open face sandwich
The bread crunches
The runny eggs spill onto the plate
A colorful design
Forms on the plate: 
Luminous yellow-orange yolk
Bright green leaves, orange pepper
Food collage
In the sun

I pour tea
Delicious
The taste links me to the earth

I see you, across from me
Your smile no longer
Seems fake
You come alive

Sometimes, focusing on the potato
Cooks it

Sometimes, we need a wider view
Zoom out from the breadcrumb
And see the whole plate

Sometimes insight does the trick
Asking: what can I learn here?
How is this part of the curriculum?

The colors in the teacup
Glow in the sun
The potter was a master
My brother and I
Bought two cups from him
Each one a dazzle of subtle color:
Faded blue, yellow, and aquamarine

Teacup, I never really appreciated your color
Until this morning
It was as if your color
Was waiting
All this time
To rescue me

This morning
I really see you
Your colors
The cracks in your glaze
And the green
Oh, green
You smile at me

Something warms
Inside my soul
Something gets lighter

I smile at you, green
And you,
Smile back at me