What I loved about our DIY wedding

You must invent your own religion, or else it will mean nothing to you. You must follow the religion of your fathers, or else you will lose it. –Hasidic Proverb

Today, we got legally married. About a month ago, we had our DIY-style backyard wedding ceremony.

I just erased a white-board full of things we could have done better with the event. While it’s good to learn from shortcomings, it’s also good to savor what went well.

In this spirit, here’s a list of things I loved about our wedding:

• The generosity of our hosts for a million and one acts of love and service.
• Dancing the hora and stilt-walking the day after (thanks Hallie).
• The beauty of the decorations: candles, shots, tables, lighting, flowers (thank you friends who set these up, and Sonia-space creator and Api-designer)
• The cultural remix of Thai (white thread bracelets, Khan Mak), Jewish (glass breaking, Kittel, music) and Clown elements.
• My dad’s joy on the dance floor.
• Api’s mom and dad joy
• Letting the organism of the event flow in the way it wanted to flow (thank you to Pat for stepping up and MC-ing, and thanks Nicole/Lisa for the advice to let go).
• The food, makeup, photographer, florist (thanks Mama for help finding many of these folks).
• The bachelor gathering (some highlights: cacao, Nicolette’s voice, softing, rock-climbing hike, Nicole’s game).
• Opening the gifts with both our families. My favorite gift: David’s home-brewed bottle of alcohol that sent me back down memory lane. Thank you notes are in-production!
• The speeches. Thank you everyone who gave one.
• The shots of vodka.
• Elements from both our lives: my violin teacher Max, videos of Api’s friends from Thailand…
• Family time at our house, the day before and after (thanks Mama and Papa for creating such a warm vibe).
• Our first dance.
• Glowsticks!
• Everyone who gave moral support in the months leading up to the wedding (especially: Peter, Avi and Ethan).
• Reading the poem praise the rain, as it rained, while serving tea, with the fireplace crackling.
• Being scared to invite certain folks and then having them actually be really supportive.
• Josh stepping up as audio-visual wizard.
• Overcoming a whole host of challenges: getting COVID, redoing the seating chart, food/dessert issues, cold and rainy weather, losing track of many props, glasses that arrived dirty from the rental company…
• The music (thank you Young Picassos).
• My dad’s chupa, and plum trees.
• Traveling after the wedding: with the in-laws to Canandaigua and Canada for a post-bachelor party.
• Not having shoulds: starting with a blank piece of paper and including the elements from our cultures and lives that resonated with us.
• People showing up, traveling from far away, to attend.
• The support and love I felt from everyone there.
• Scenius: the collective genius of many individuals providing their gifts to make the beautiful tapestry of the event what it was.
• The love vibration in the tent. This was probably the most important thing, for all of the above would be moot if this wasn’t there.