People always say: go with your gut. The problem is, with social pressures and practical concerns, I sometimes don’t know what my gut is saying anymore. It takes a lot of discipline to blow off the societal dusts to the point where I can actually hear what my gut is saying. I am working on being quiet and listening to these instincts. Letting my brain explode out onto the world instead of letting the world give me a recipe for how to live.
I once wrote this fairly depressing poem:
All the things that I am supposed to write
Are moving my fingers
Are pressing my fingers
Down into the keys
And after a while
After I have succeeded
And the world has given me
Respect and a paycheck
I will be used to
Having the world
Move my fingers for me
An uplifting counter-point by the Flaming Lips:
She’s starting to live her life from the inside out
The sound of failure calls her name
She’s decided to hear it out
-Flaming Lips, The Sound of Failure
My classmate said: “At this point, if I don’t feel like doing something, screw it. It’s not worth forcing yourself.” Don’t force yourself. A lady I work with said: “I spend most of my time at work, so I better like it.” Do exactly what you want to do, be who you want to be! There was a commercial when I was a kid for some cereal that had the tagline: “We’re kids, we do what we like.” I think adults would be better people if they did what they liked. Not what they liked in a short-term pleasure sugar-buzz way, but in a deep spiritual way. If you’re not hungry, don’t force yourself to eat. If you’re not greedy, don’t accumulate money just because other people are.
Here are some related posts: Big A, Little a, Youthful Idealism.
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